Have you been diagnosed with DINOSAUR FEET?
A couple of months ago, my daughter, the Artiste, took me to a Korean spa. Let’s just say it was an experience – and you may read about soon. At one point, we decided to get a pedicure. Note to self: that was your LAST $70 pedicure! A-hem. Okay, so that won’t happen again. Anyway, my brain was tricked into believing that there was one easy way to remove callouses on my yet-to-be-diagnosed dinosaur feet, and these folks had it.
Au contraire, mon ami! (Pardon my French)
One Easy Way to Remove Callouses
So, to set this up, I need to give full disclosure. My age is currently the same as a speed limit on a dual highway in 1985. I’ll let you do the math.
REALLY FULL DISCLOSURE: I’ve only had maybe 4 pedicures IN MY LIFETIME.
So that explains the dinosaur feet – which I did not realize were at the end of my legs at the time.
Now I’m not saying I’ve never given MYSELF a pedi – because I have, many times. I just don’t let strangers around my piggies because I am cheap. Yep, I said it. I’m the gal who sees a $15 blouse and says, “I can make that for $6”, so I don’t buy it. And then I don’t make it either. Plus, a stranger with my piggies skeeves me out. I watch the news. There are crazy people out there.
The sign at this in-the-spa salon said they would use a callous remover and I thought, “Cool! I’m feeling a bit rough and snaggly and this looks like an easy way to remove callouses. I believe I’ll get the upsell.” They had one on the line and I wasn’t flapping around a bit. My only defense is that I must have been dehydrated.
The Artiste and I settled in for our pampering and I heard my daughters pedicurist say to her, “Oh, you have such soft feet!” My victim stroked the bottom of my foot lightly and looked startled, turned to her and said some things in another language and, by the aggrieved look she shot me, I didn’t think it was probably complimentary. The one who got lucky and had the Artiste in her chair mumbled something and kind of glanced up at me apologetically – and I slunk down in my chair a little. My lady spread the callous remover cream on my feet and turned to the other lady and let forth another stream of conversation and glared at me again. She took out her belt sander and removed the cream, gave a HUGE sigh, and painted my feet with cream again and went after me with the sandpaper. Apparently I’m a hard case because I go barefoot most of the time.
She gave up after the second layer and just went to my nails (which were already short and clean – I’m not a BEAST, you know!) and proceeded to give me a $15 paint job. I guess I just wore her out.
Now, I’m not saying I blame the woman. I did all I could to make her job easier. Short and clean toenails, PLUS I even shaved up to the knee so she couldn’t tangle my leg hair when she did my ‘massage’. I’m thinking maybe she’d had a hard day and just gave up.
When we came home I thought it would be a good idea to find some at-home callous remover cream so I went online to find out which kind actually worked without being a machine like this callous remover*. I’m thinking the spa didn’t use a heavy-duty type since even the power tools didn’t budge mine. To my surprise, I didn’t really see much that rocked my boat. I did find a blog post comment, though, that gave me pause to think. The fella recommended used a plain old pumice stone* in the bathtub. Hey! I had one of those already! Since I’m cheap it was nice to not have to spend any money – as long as the one I had hadn’t dry-rotted or gone bad in some way – if a stone can even do that. He said to have your feet wet AND the stone wet, and just rub it in circular motions on the callouses. The other thing he mentioned was to not try to remove all of it at one go – only do each area about 6 circular times each time you use it or else the callouses would ‘rebuild’ quicker and be prepared for it to take several weeks.
For once, I followed directions. I didn’t do it every single time but I was able to get it done at least 5 times a week. Within a couple of weeks, I could really see the difference!
Confession: sometimes I rub my feet together when I’m lying in bed at night. They’re just SO SMOOTH! I haven’t used a bit of cream on them, of any kind. Lovin’ this! Can’t believe I found one easy way to remove callouses with something cheap that I already had!
So – I can’t be the only person in the world with a callous story – what’s yours?