Follow You on Twitter?
Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Deux
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called ‘Follow You on Twitter? Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Uno de mucho’. It got great response and I had super fun writing it!
Yep, there’s more. Maybe it’s just me (I’m a nut magnet) or maybe I have the crazy gene and can spot these folks easy. Whatever it is, I get a giggle, too.
So, without further ado — Part Deux!
People who are confused:
- Picture is Jabba the Hut but the bio says I’m sexy and I know it. — I wonder what else you don’t know?
- Any bio that says ‘I’m lovin’ life!’ — You’re delusional. Get help. Quickly. Or let me have some of what you’re taking.
- Anyone who teaches online ballroom dancing.— I can’t do that, sorry. Two left keyboards.
People who are creepy:
- If your profile pic is a skull — it may be too late. Eat a burger, will ya?
- Your bio says you are a massage parlor that employs one ethnic group. — You probably aren’t. Massaging just backs, that is.
- Your profile pic is of your pecs or any other body part I shouldn’t be seeing. — Need I say more?
Signs you need a real job:
- Any woman who’s picture could possibly be of her naked.
- Anyone who IS naked.
- Anyone who should never BE naked. Even in the shower.
- Bonus: The bio says ‘If it weren’t for date rape drugs I’d never get laid’. — Do I need to elaborate? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Those who insult my intelligence:
- Any bio that insinuates I am stupid if I don’t follow back.
- The bio says, ‘I can get you 78000 likes’.
- The word ‘guru’ or ‘expert’ appears anywhere in the bio.
Just plain funny:
- Your profile picture is Captain America. — Why aren’t you out saving the world instead of waiting for my tweets?
- Your bio says ‘currently out of his mind but please feel free to leave a message‘. — Where’s the beep, Dude?
- Your bio identifies you as a ‘gangsta napper’ — now that’s just plain funny.
Hey, I’ve got more.
And, like I said before, I will OUT you. In a New York minute.
Seen any good ones lately? Comment below and let me know!
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