A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called ‘Follow You on Twitter? Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Uno de mucho’. It got a great response and I had super fun writing it!

Guess what?

 

 

There’s MORE!

Yep, there’s more. Maybe it’s just me (I’m a nut magnet) or maybe I have the crazy gene and can spot these folks easy. Whatever it is, I get a giggle, too.

So, without further ado — Twitter – Part Deux!

 

People who are confused:

  • Picture is Jabba the Hut but the bio says I’m sexy and I know it. — I wonder what else you don’t know?
  • Any bio that says ‘I’m lovin’ life!’ — You’re delusional. Get help. Quickly. Or let me have some of what you’re taking.
  • Anyone who teaches online ballroom dancing.— I can’t do that, sorry. Two left keyboards.

People who are creepy:

  • If your profile pic is a skull — it may be too late. Eat a burger, will ya?
  • Your bio says you are a massage parlor that employs one ethnic group. — You probably aren’t. Massaging just backs, that is.
  • Your profile pic is of your pecs or any other body part I shouldn’t be seeing. — Need I say more?

Signs you need a real job:

  • Any woman who’s picture could possibly be of her naked.
  • Anyone who IS naked.
  • Anyone who should never BE naked. Even in the shower.
  • Bonus: The bio says ‘If it weren’t for date rape drugs I’d never get laid’. — Do I need to elaborate? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Those who insult my intelligence:

  • Any bio that insinuates I am stupid if I don’t follow back.
  • The bio says, ‘I can get you 78000 likes’.
  • The word ‘guru’ or ‘expert’ appears anywhere in the bio.

Just plain funny:

  • Your profile picture is Captain America. — Why aren’t you out saving the world instead of waiting for my tweets?
  • Your bio says ‘currently out of his mind but please feel free to leave a message‘. — Where’s the beep, Dude?
  • Your bio identifies you as a ‘gangsta napper’ — now that’s just plain funny.

Hey, I’ve got more.

And, like I said before, I will OUT you. In a New York minute.

Seen any good ones lately? Comment below and let me know!

Author: Becky

Misplaced Delawarean, Mom and Mommom - after a detour to Florida in 2006, these days she hails from Central Texas where she and her husband relocated to be close to their only grandchild - Miss Danger. Loves sharing tips, recipes, planners & positive thoughts! Just trying to keep it simple in a complicated world!

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20 thoughts on “Follow You on Twitter? Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Deux

  1. Loved your light-hearted fun post! You are saying so many things I think about when I see profiles on Twitter. Thanks for sharing such value in such a humorous and creative way! Happy 4th of July!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 10:19 AM
  2. Sure wish I had some of your tips when I first started!!! Great article! Thanks!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 10:26 AM
  3. Thanks Becky for sharing this post with us! Have a Happy 4th of July.

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 10:27 AM
  4. Funny post, Becky. I actually saw a musician’s bio that said if you mentioned them they would put you in a track. LOL I wonder what they’d call a track like that…My Tweeting Friends, maybe?

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM
  5. That is too funny and sadly – oh so true! Bad bio’s are a dime a dozen on Twitter and make for great fodder and comedic humor as you’ve done so well pointing out above!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 11:07 AM
  6. Really love your humor, Becky. And loving all the tips. Thanks for sharing!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 11:21 AM
  7. Great humor Becky! Thanks for the laugh and the truth!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 1:37 PM
  8. I love this!! Even with the humor, these are good points!!!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 1:58 PM
  9. Too funny 🙂 Thanks for the laughs today.

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 2:18 PM
  10. Although I’m still laughing at part “deux” these are seriously reasons to not follow folks on Twitter. Thank you for bringing all of these reasons to our attention. Adieu to you, too.

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 11:29 PM
  11. Hee hee…Becky, I just love your sense of humor! The tips are fab!

    Posted on July 4, 2012 at 11:29 PM
  12. Ha!! Your post made me laugh aloud…you are too funny!! I love all these tips and yes..all those mentioned are definitely ‘on something’ if they think I will be following them:) Hugs!

    Posted on July 5, 2012 at 8:37 AM
  13. Great post!! Love your sense of humor and approach!

    Posted on July 5, 2012 at 10:00 PM
  14. I say speak for yourself. You may not want to see body parts but maybe I do. Haha! Great post, love the humor, and can’t wait to read more.
    BTW, I must not be on as much as you cause I just haven’t come across the insanity that you have seen. When I do however, I will undoubtedly think of you!

    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 1:15 AM
  15. OHHHHHHHHHHH my these were good and so funny1 Yes this is why.. I’m not following you either!! Read on! Love it!

    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 2:52 PM
  16. I love these.Very funny Becky, love your sense of humor. I now even think about your articles as I unfollow people on Twitter. Thanks!

    Posted on July 8, 2012 at 4:45 PM
  17. Love how you tied your amazing sense of humor into this article 😉 Thanks for sharing!

    Posted on July 9, 2012 at 2:09 PM
  18. Loved how you incorporated your personality and humor into this post. It’s really a change from the traditional style of articles out there. Thanks for sharing this post!

    Posted on July 10, 2012 at 5:04 AM
  19. Love the humor!! These are all too funny and no, I would not follow either. One exception though…being in health and fitness, pecs don’t bother me. Comes with the territory. I draw the line below the waist on that one!:-)

    Posted on July 11, 2012 at 7:34 AM
  20. More great ones Becky, thanks. I’m always amazed at what I see on Twitter. I just unfollowed several people who weren’t following me back, yet they had that weird #teamfollowback in their bio. I must really suck if not even THEY follow me back . . .

    Posted on July 11, 2012 at 3:39 PM