Follow You on Twitter?
Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Deux
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called ‘Follow You on Twitter? Here’s Why I Won’t Do It – Part Uno de mucho’. It got great response and I had super fun writing it!
Guess what?
There’s MORE!
Yep, there’s more. Maybe it’s just me (I’m a nut magnet) or maybe I have the crazy gene and can spot these folks easy. Whatever it is, I get a giggle, too.
So, without further ado — Part Deux!
People who are confused:
- Picture is Jabba the Hut but the bio says I’m sexy and I know it. — I wonder what else you don’t know?
- Any bio that says ‘I’m lovin’ life!’ — You’re delusional. Get help. Quickly. Or let me have some of what you’re taking.
- Anyone who teaches online ballroom dancing.— I can’t do that, sorry. Two left keyboards.
People who are creepy:
- If your profile pic is a skull — it may be too late. Eat a burger, will ya?
- Your bio says you are a massage parlor that employs one ethnic group. — You probably aren’t. Massaging just backs, that is.
- Your profile pic is of your pecs or any other body part I shouldn’t be seeing. — Need I say more?
Signs you need a real job:
- Any woman who’s picture could possibly be of her naked.
- Anyone who IS naked.
- Anyone who should never BE naked. Even in the shower.
- Bonus: The bio says ‘If it weren’t for date rape drugs I’d never get laid’. — Do I need to elaborate? Yeah, didn’t think so.
Those who insult my intelligence:
- Any bio that insinuates I am stupid if I don’t follow back.
- The bio says, ‘I can get you 78000 likes’.
- The word ‘guru’ or ‘expert’ appears anywhere in the bio.
Just plain funny:
- Your profile picture is Captain America. — Why aren’t you out saving the world instead of waiting for my tweets?
- Your bio says ‘currently out of his mind but please feel free to leave a message‘. — Where’s the beep, Dude?
- Your bio identifies you as a ‘gangsta napper’ — now that’s just plain funny.
Hey, I’ve got more.
And, like I said before, I will OUT you. In a New York minute.
Seen any good ones lately? Comment below and let me know!
About Becky FisherBecky Fisher -- Social Media Manager and Strategist - understands the value of relationships and reputation management! Having built a long lasting multiple-6-figure/year business in real estate title before early retirement, she is most proud of her clients relating that they felt like she was family to them and not a contracted service. While she takes business very seriously, she doesn't take herself too seriously as evidenced by her upbeat and light-hearted postings online. These days she hails from Central Texas where she and her husband relocated to be close to her only grandchild - Baby Danger. Contact her anytime at becky@simpleandsane.com and she'll make you feel at home!
Follow her on Twitter https://twitter.com/SimpleandSane
Find her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.messick.fisher
She'll speak like she's got sense on her personal G+ page at http://gplus.to/MagicalMediaSolutions & her G+ business page at gplus.to/BeckyFisherSocialMediaMgr
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Loved your light-hearted fun post! You are saying so many things I think about when I see profiles on Twitter. Thanks for sharing such value in such a humorous and creative way! Happy 4th of July!
Sure wish I had some of your tips when I first started!!! Great article! Thanks!
Thanks Becky for sharing this post with us! Have a Happy 4th of July.
Funny post, Becky. I actually saw a musician’s bio that said if you mentioned them they would put you in a track. LOL I wonder what they’d call a track like that…My Tweeting Friends, maybe?
That is too funny and sadly – oh so true! Bad bio’s are a dime a dozen on Twitter and make for great fodder and comedic humor as you’ve done so well pointing out above!
Really love your humor, Becky. And loving all the tips. Thanks for sharing!
Great humor Becky! Thanks for the laugh and the truth!
I love this!! Even with the humor, these are good points!!!
Too funny
Thanks for the laughs today.
Although I’m still laughing at part “deux” these are seriously reasons to not follow folks on Twitter. Thank you for bringing all of these reasons to our attention. Adieu to you, too.
Hee hee…Becky, I just love your sense of humor! The tips are fab!
Ha!! Your post made me laugh aloud…you are too funny!! I love all these tips and yes..all those mentioned are definitely ‘on something’ if they think I will be following them:) Hugs!
Great post!! Love your sense of humor and approach!
I say speak for yourself. You may not want to see body parts but maybe I do. Haha! Great post, love the humor, and can’t wait to read more.
BTW, I must not be on as much as you cause I just haven’t come across the insanity that you have seen. When I do however, I will undoubtedly think of you!
OHHHHHHHHHHH my these were good and so funny1 Yes this is why.. I’m not following you either!! Read on! Love it!
I love these.Very funny Becky, love your sense of humor. I now even think about your articles as I unfollow people on Twitter. Thanks!
Love how you tied your amazing sense of humor into this article
Thanks for sharing!
Loved how you incorporated your personality and humor into this post. It’s really a change from the traditional style of articles out there. Thanks for sharing this post!
Love the humor!! These are all too funny and no, I would not follow either. One exception though…being in health and fitness, pecs don’t bother me. Comes with the territory. I draw the line below the waist on that one!:-)
More great ones Becky, thanks. I’m always amazed at what I see on Twitter. I just unfollowed several people who weren’t following me back, yet they had that weird #teamfollowback in their bio. I must really suck if not even THEY follow me back . . .