Across a crowded room, your eyes meet. Kismet. Love! Happily ever after! Bliss! NOT. Oh, SO NOT!!!! I’ll tell you the plain truth: Love is WORK. And you get dirty and tired and some days it doesn’t seem worth the hassle. "Gee, Beck. You sure are a downer today." No, not really. Love isn’t a game and it’s not a walk in the park. It’s not Cinderella and Prince Charming and a pumpkin coach. It’s more like cleaning the ashes out of the fireplace and doing the dishes. It’s not a feeling.
- Love is not a feeling. That’s powerful to someone who just got that.
- Love is a verb– and more specifically– an ACTION verb.
- Love isn’t passive — it’s doesn’t just BE. It’s not like air, for goodness sake. It takes effort.
Admission: I’ve had times in my life when I’ve looked at my husband (of nearly 33 years) and thought, "How did I get here?" and, "Who is this man?" Not only have I been tempted to walk away, I actually HAVE walked away. Yep. Right out that door. God, in his Infinite Wisdom, worked on my heart and walked me back through the door and started to work on me. I was busily focused on the ‘in love’ part and totally ignored the ‘love’ part. Does that make any sense? It took a while but I began to be taught that the ‘love’ issue was mine. I stopped blaming him for the love I wasn’t feeling. Slowly, I began to change my thoughts … I would make sure he had a nice meal on the table. If he was watching a game, I’d fix a plate and take it to him. If he was on the tractor, I’d take him a glass of iced tea. Little things. And not all dealing with food I was learning to serve. Was I doing it to get his attention? NO. Was I trying to be his maid? NO WAY! Was I trying to make a point? NO. Did it change anything? YOU BETCHA! See, little by little (because that’s how it has to be with me) I was realizing I was put here to be his help-meet — not his mother, not his boss. I was put here to serve him. I wasn’t in charge. Now, before you get your panties in a twist, realize that he was put here to serve me, too. And as I began to change HE began to change. Was it easy? Nope. Was it comfortable? Nope. Was it worth it? IMMEASURABLY. So, before you toss the baby out with the bathwater, give it another chance. Change needs to start with YOU.